Roleplay-ing

"I don't want to have that Adam Smith. I don't want to get more pills. Or the tranquilizers. I want to be normal. I want to not have to deal with the bullshit that this entails. I hate anxiety. I hate anorexia. I hate myself. I hate this damn world. It's just so wrong. What if the bad guys send me to another place? I don't want to leave you. I can't leave you. You're keeping me sane." All of this bubbled out of Mleena mouth, and she fisted her hands in Adam's shirt. "I can't do this." She mumbled, strangely calm.

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"You know I'm here to listen, right?" Dustin offered, hurt from her rejection to tell him what was really going on. "When I lived back home, I used to read or write lyrics while it rained. It usually inspired me. But as the schizophrenia got worse, I stopped reading and writing lyrics. And I just let the voices tell me all sorts of things as it rained more and more often. They're terrible. I need help. And I don't know where to get this help." Dustin concluded, staring out of the window.

"But there's other places they could put me if I get worse. They would at least move me to the worse part of the hospital. And you know that, don't deny it." Melena said, sighing. "I'm sorry that I'm like this." She continued, feeling the warmth of Adam's hands around her numb ones. "I know that I'm stuck here for at least another year or two." She added. 

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"I do. But very faintly. When I'm talking to others or doing something that I love, they aren't as loud." Dustin said, staring at Violet. He noticed she was very anxious. Always on the edge. But so was he. "I sometimes wish that I could be normal. Like a football player on the varsity team in high school that gets all the girls. But I realized that my disorders make me unique. I know I may hate them at times but who doesn't hate it?" 

"I have no clue what the hell to do when I leave. Like yeah I didn't even graduate from high school. Maybe we could talk to someone about getting our GEDs? But besides that we can't do anything." Melena said, suddenly scooting up to lay next to Adam. "Don't talk like that. We'll get out. Eventually. We just have to be on our best behavior." She hinted. Leaning over onto him, Melena kissed Adam, squeezing his hand. 

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"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. I'm just trying to get this off my chest because no one will listen to me." Dustin apologized. He was never one to blurt personal things out like this. "It must be getting late. Want me to walk you back to your room, Vi?" Dustin asked, squatting and cracking his knees and popping his joints. 

Leaning back over to her side, Melena yawned. "I'm tired." She whispered, her eyes slightly closing. She didn't want to sleep. But for once she thought she would be able to sleep comfortably. Her eyes fully closing, Melena fell asleep locked in Adam's arms.

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"Come on." Dustin said, lacing his pinky with Violet. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable with the whole holding hands things at the moment, so he would work his way back up to it. Rounding a corner, he stopped in front of her room. "Do you want me to come in with you? I mean.." He asked, looking down. 

Before he could continue she looked down at her slippers and barely whispered, "Sure." At first it seemed fine but after she said it,she  regretted it. Her eyes widened and she quickly looked up, "U-um I don't mean it like that but um, I-I, yeah... S-sorry. I have a mini television. You do too. U-um I have movies." she looked back down at her slippers wanting to slap herself, she wasn't even sure what she was feeling anymore. She wanted to lock herself in her romm but yet again, she didn't want him to leave because she will be alone and sad.

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Adam felt the sleep wash over him like a wave from the ocean hitting a beach. He felt peaceful, his eyes would open every now and then when the rain would hit the bared windows. He would tighten his grip on her when the thunder would roar. The thought of what happend before would strom through his dreams thus causing the tightening grip.

((((((((Melena is sleeping lolzzz))))))))))))))

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Dustin shrugged. "I'm okay with going in and watching movies if you are." He said, opening her door and ushering her in. "You can get comfortable. I'll get a movie and put it in." He requested, walking over to the stack of movies that Violet had. Grabbing a random case, he pulled it out to find season two of Doctor Who. "It's the tenth Doctor, if that's alright." 

"Sure." She gave him a small smerk before grabbing a large red sweater and then a pair or baseball shorts. "I'll be back." she smiled and walked over to the bathroom and changed out of her sweats and into new clean clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror and groaned. She fixed her bangs and but her hair up in a bun. She threw her sweats in a laundry basket then pulled up her sleeve to wash her hands. She looked down at her scars and let out a sigh before she washed her hands. Everyone here finally thinks she stopped self harming but the truth was she got better at hiding them.

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(((((((Adam is sleeping lolzzzz)))))))

Adjusting the strings on his sweatpants, Dustin put the disc in the player, laying back on Violet's bed and clicking through the previews on the disc. Once he got to the episode selection screen, he waited until she got back. He was actually excited about watching this with Violet, seeing as Doctor Who was his favorite show and David Tennant was his Doctor. "Violet I need a cuddle." He called out, waiting for her. 

Violet quickly washed her hands and dried them. She pulled her sleeves down and walked out, she gave him a small smile and she suddenly felt very insecure. She pulled her sleeves down and sat down beside him, she didn't know what to do now. She looked over at him then smiled, "I love Doctor Who." Violet then again felt like slapping herself in the face but she slipped her slippers off and brought her legs up on her bed too hug them. 

"'mere." Dustin said, playing the first episode of the season. Bringing Violet close, he cuddled her, placing a kiss on her neck. "I want you to see something." He said, grabbing one of her hands gently and sliding it up his hoodie until her hand landed on his deep scars. "I want you to feel them. Not to make you feel bad. But just to let you know how it was for me. But there's more...you don't have to feel them if you don't want to."

Violet's eyes went from the tv to him, at first she couldn't move her hand then she started to fell the scars one by one. The ridged skin she felt was amazing. She looked up at him, suddenly she knew how he felt. Her hand wrapped around him under his shirt and she pulled him close. She placed her legs over his and put her head on the crook of his neck and left small soft kisses.

All Doctor Who forgotten, Dustin was surprised when Violet started leaving kisses on his neck. Wrapping his arm under her legs, Dustin grabbed the hand that was under his sweatshirt and held it, warming it up. "Violet..." He whispered, loving every moment that she was kissing him.

"Hmm?" she trailed upwards and now left small kisses on his jawline. She stopped and placed her head on his sholder, a small blush hit her face, "S-Sorry." she hid her face into the crock of his neck, hearing Doctor Who in the background she lifed her head and looked at the TV then looked over to him, trying to read his face but she couldn't. He could read her like a book but he was like a book in another language.

"It's nothing...I was just getting..." He coughed. Violet had no idea of the effect she had on Dustin, let alone the sexual effects. "So now you actually know." He said, rubbing his fingers over her cold knuckles. "You're the only one that's ever felt them besides me."

She gave him a soft smile, she wanted to tell him the truth but she had no idea how he would react. She put her head back on his sholders and let out a small sigh. "I have more.." she barely whispered. She hid her face from his, she didn't want to see his reaction. She hid her face in the crook of his neck, not wanting to look up.

"Really?" He asked, not surprised. "I have loads more...in a different place though." He said, trying to make her feel better abobut it. "Look at me." He requested.

She shook her head, letting out a deep breath then in a very small whisper she said, "I haven't stopped." She felt ashamed, she met many short term people that come tottaly broken, even more broken than her and then leave as if nothing had happend. She was long term and she still feels like how she was the first time she was assigned a long term room.